I've heard the consumer fraud mantra a thousand times, "If it looks too good to be true, it probably is."

But still, the banner ad on ZDNet intrigued me: "Bring your house to life. X-10. New Firecracker."

A click later I was reading an ad promising to let me "experience the 21st century `Wired Home' for FREE!" ($5.90 administration and handling).

I've long been fascinated with the idea of the automated home. And I knew that X-10 is an interesting approach, using otherwise wasted frequencies on existing home wiring. Just plug lamps and appliances into X-10 modules, and you're living in a Smart House.

On the home IQ scale, my house rates somewhere above brain dead, but a long way from Mensa. The only things automated are the lawn sprinklers.

I didn't expect much from the Firecracker, but I figured it was worth the $5.90 just to put the questions to rest every time I saw the ZDNet ad.

So I ordered.

About a week later, the mailman stuffed a little parcel in my mailbox. I opened it up to find, as promised, four components and a single sheet of instructions.

The Firecracker itself is a little black unit about the size of a small box of stick matches. It plugs into the computer's serial port. It conveniently includes a pass-through serial plug on the other end for people who don't have an open port.

The Firecracker, which installed in about 10 seconds, sends a wireless radio frequency signal from the PC to an X-10 transceiver, which brought me to step 2. I plugged the transceiver into the wall jack, and plugged a lamp into the transceiver. And I plugged the lamp module in the socket in a nearby room.

So far, I've invested about 30 seconds in the installation process.

Step No. 4 is to download the software. Aha, here comes the sales pitch, I figured. And I was correct. Displayed prominently next to the download link was an ad for a upgrades ranging from $49.99 to $99.99.

I ignored the ad and downloaded the free software.

I installed the program and ran into the only hitch. The computer had to be restarted before it would work, although there is no mention of that in the instructions.

An image of a remote control appeared on my screen. I clicked on the button. The lamp came on. I clicked on the off button and it went off. Woo hoo. My house was getting smarter by the second.

I moved the lamp to the second module in the other room. I clicked and the other room lit up. I clicked again and it darkened. I felt the pride of a parent whose child has just learned to blow saliva bubbles.

I checked the application, trying to figure out how you set a timer to turn appliances on automatically. Then I realized you don't.

In less time than it had taken to download the software, I had exhausted the Firecracker's possibilities.

I felt like the kid who eats the free sample of fudge outside the candy store and realizes he's been had, hook, line and sinker. The week's allowance is about to finance a chocolate binge.

I pulled out the credit card and returned to the X-10.com site. I upgraded to the X-10 Active Home package, which includes more modules, key-chain remote controls, and software that actually does something.

And I got a $10 discount as the proud owner of (sucker who spent $5.95 on) a Firecracker.

My neighbors will know when the upgrade arrives because my lights will blink on and off all night long and my vacuum will run and my stereo will play when I'm not home.

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Jonathan Sidener can be reached at (602) 444-8169 or at jon.sidener@pni.com via e-mail.