No matter what kind of relationship we have, there's bound to be trouble. It's just the way of things. A misunderstanding, a forgotten event, an intellectual disagreement, a misspoken word, or any of a number of things. There's the oft-quoted advice regarding disputes, "don't go to bed angry." So in this How2, we're going to talk about how to say, "I'm sorry." Each one of us will find ourselves in the position of needing to apologize to our significant other at one time or another. So let's be creative about how we say "I'm sorry." This not only helps us reconcile to our partners, but also gives us the chance to remember what it is we really love about them in the first place. We're going to refer back to several other How2s, using them to bring together an apology that won't soon be forgotten.

So let's get started. Let's say you had an argument, and it was a bad one. Now rather than harbor bitter feelings toward the one you love, you've decided that you want to make it right. So you come home early, armed with your knowledge of X10, and get everything ready.

Before you come home though, we recommend that you stop by the store and pick up a bouquet of flowers, a bottle of wine, some candles, and something for a quiet dinner (don't forget dessert).

The first thing you do is set up an EagleEye Motion Sensor just outside the door on the front porch, and set that to a chime so that it will let you know the minute your partner comes home. That way you can meet them at the door with your bouquet of flowers. The way you do this is:

• Plug your remote chime into the wall.
• Then plug your transceiver into the wall. Make sure that your addresses all correspond, i.e. A1 to A1 and so forth.

Make sure that you've hooked up MP3 Anywhere from your computer to your stereo system (see How2 Hook up MP3 Anywhere, June 7, 2001). Once your partner has entered the room, hit the button on your MP3 Anywhere remote and start the music. We recommend the song "Hard to Say I'm Sorry" by Chicago. It's one of those songs that just seems to say what words find difficult to say.

Hopefully you've gotten a good response. But if the response is still a bit cold, don't worry; you've got a great evening planned. Help your partner with their things, and then set them down at the table where you have prepared a wonderful meal. Enjoy the meal without really talking too much. Try to focus on what you love about them. Once dinner is over, have a nice dessert ready. Again, enjoy the meal in silence. If you do talk, try to talk about the meal.

While you're eating, use your MP3 Anywhere Remote to play the songs that you have programmed into your music software to play in the background. Use songs that express how you feel about the person you're having dinner with. Songs like "I'm Loving Angels Instead" by Robbie Williams, or "Could I have this Dance for the Rest of my Life" by Anne Murray, or whatever songs you feel will communicate with your partner those emotions that you may not be so good at saying.

Once the meal is done, clear away the dishes. We also recommend that you put the dishes you used while preparing the meal into the dishwasher so they won't be a distraction. Quickly put the dishes into the dishwasher and move into the living room. Using your ActiveHome Remote, dim the lights to the "Romantic" setting you have pre-set (See How2 Create Mood Lighting, April 3, 2001). Now sit down together on the sofa, or in front of the fireplace, and continue to enjoy the silence while listening to the music. The purpose of the silence here is to try and enjoy each other in ways that words don't exactly allow. Also, since words may be mistaken, the silence allows you to avoid any "traps" that may be lined along your apology. Don't worry, you're going to talk about this, but after you've calmed down and reconciled the relationship. Right now you're just trying to build trust and empathy between each other.

From here, you may need to decide what happens next. You may need to continue talking this over before you go to bed, or you may just need to go to bed and wait for a better occasion. It's your relationship, and you know best how to handle it. But what's important for now is that you've spent time building up your partner and showing them how much they mean to you, and that's the basis for any healthy and strong relationship. And don't worry about who's right or wrong. After all, there that other oft quoted saying, "Would you rather be right, or be happy?"

We recommend you shoot for happy.

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