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Ask Dr. Dopolis - (November 14, 2000)

Dr. Dopolis is our on-staff "Technology Psychotherapist." Dr. Dopolis helps heal the relationships between users and their technology. We consider him one of the top (not to mention the only) Technology-Psychotherapists in the world.

One reader writes . . .

Dear Dr. Dopolis,

For years now I have been terrified of technology. I see buttons and I panic. I can’t get my VCR to stop flashing 12:00. I work with a computer at the office, but that’s only because I have to. I don’t like technology. And now my son has given me ActiveHome, and he’s hooked up all my lights to remotes. What can I possibly do? He knows that I don’t like technology, but he said that he didn’t realize that I would have a problem with ActiveHome. If I make him take it all back, that will hurt his feelings, so I’m contacting you before I make my next move. What should I do?

Signed:

Technologically Challenged.

Dear Challenged,

I’m glad you contacted me before going to your son. For the simple reason that it shows that you are working towards the cure for your fears.

Fear is an interesting response to the world around us. On one hand its purpose is to protect us. If you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, fear keeps you from jumping. But as useful and protecting as fear can be, it can also create problems when it becomes unreasonable.

A good friend of mine has an acronym for fear. He calls it "false evidence that appears real." That’s not bad for a ten year old.

Now fear of technology is even more unnecessary. Technology doesn’t hurt us, it protects us. It makes our lives much easier. It allows us to live longer. It has shown us the world around us in ways we never could have seen before. And right from our living rooms.

I would venture to say that it’s not technology per se that you’re truly afraid of. For instance, I’ll bet you drive to work? I would assume that you watch television. I also guess you get up to an alarm clock every morning. When you go home, do you flip a light switch to turn on the lights? Technology is not your problem. You use it all the time. I think what you’re afraid of is "the unfamiliar." You’re looking at a gadget and you "have no idea what it is or what it does," except for what your son told you.

My advice to you is to familiarize yourself with the products. Pick up the ActiveHome Remote, and hold it in your hand. Run you fingers along the buttons. Point it at something. Pretend it’s a light switch, or your VCR remote. Look at each one of the Lamp Modules. Notice what they look like. And once you’ve gotten that far, then start using it. Don’t worry about doing it wrong, just point the remote at the lamps and whatever else is plugged into the modules, press a button, and see what happens.

You’ll find that as ActiveHome becomes more familiar to you, you’ll be less afraid of it. If it helps, start thinking of your gift as a friend, or as a toy, or as another way to turn on and off the lights. And since your son was good enough to install ActiveHome for you, I’m sure that he will gladly answer any questions you may have as you become more and more familiar with your new friend/toy or whatever you chose to call it.

Go for it. It’s your life, live it to the fullest. And once you do, you’ll find that technology will become a friend that you never knew you had.

That’s right, technology is your friend.

Dr. Dopolis.

If you have a question for Dr. Dopolis, then send him an email at  xzone@x10.com