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Ask Dr. Dopolis - (October 16, 2000)

Dr. Dopolis is our on-staff "Technology Psychotherapist." Dr. Dopolis helps heal the relationships between users and their technology. We consider him one of the top (not to mention the only) Technology-Psychotherapists in the world.

One reader writes . . .

Dear Dr. Dopolis,

I recently bought ActiveHome and set it up to run everything from the lights, the heater, the coffee pot and everything else I could get it to run; but I’ve got to admit I’m a little frustrated with the remote. It seems that my family and house guests won't touch the multi-button controllers for fear they'll screw something up. (And they have!) I don’t know what to do about this. I can’t convince them that it won’t bite them. What do I do?

Signed:

Technologically Friendless

Dear Friendless,

This is a very interesting dilemma. Often times when we make a new discovery we want to share it with whoever will listen, and it’s hard for us when our friends and relatives won’t share our excitement. It’s even more difficult when those we love most are frightened of our friendships with technology and reject our technology on that basis. But do not lose heart.

Rejection can test us at our very core. It challenges who we think we are, and if we let it, it will destroy any sense of worth or value that we feel. But it need not be that way. There are healthy ways to handle rejection, and to protect yourself at the same time.

The first thing you must do is remember that they are your family and they love you. They may not understand how important ActiveHome is to you. They’re not rejecting you; they’re merely expressing themselves to you.

Secondly, what they’re expressing to you is not their dislike of the product, but their distrust of the buttons. Do not take that personally, because of recent technological developments the "button" has become quite a frightful gadget. We never quite know what it will do if we "press" it.

It’s often times very difficult to put your techno ego aside and not show off every little feature or button, but if you do, you will be glad that you did. You will discover the joy of watching your family learn to interact with the ActiveHome remotes. You’ll share their joy as they discover the true potential. Trust me when I tell you that if you will just allow them to feel their fear, and encourage them all the while, you will watch them make friends quickly. And your excitement will generate more excitement in them.

Lead them through the remote one step at a time. Teach them how to turn on the lights from the car, or from the bicycle if you have young children using the keychain remote. Set it up so that they can use its most basic features first, and then guide them through it as they become more comfortable with it.

You have the opportunity to bring your family closer, and to become the envy of other families simply by following these simple instructions. Your family loves you, and soon they will embrace your technology as well. Lead them gently.

And Remember, technology is your friend.

Dr. Dopolis.

If you have a question for Dr. Dopolis, then send him an email at  xzone@x10.com