X10 Vs. James Bond

July 6, 2001 - X10 is always looking for new and creative ways to use its products, and so when this email came in, we couldn’t resist publishing it. Fred Calef III, a very creative customer had some excellent ideas, and he presented those ideas as if he were an international spy, ala James Bond. Naturally we had to publish it. We’ve done some editing of course, but it’s a lot of fun, and we thought that you would enjoy it.

As an international spy, trying to get a good night’s sleep can be almost impossible. Was that a branch tapping the window or the terrorist who’s secret bombing plot I just foiled? It’s a good thing I have the ActiveHome system, otherwise I would have to "sleep with one eye open, sitting upright in my chair, in a basement with my back to the wall."

It’s 3 a.m. and someone has been ordered to make my night’s sleep permanent. I know he’s coming, and I must face him. First, the hit man has to get into the house. But he won’t be coming in unannounced since I’ve hooked up window and door sensors to every window and door in the house. I’ve also hooked up the EagleEye motion sensor outside the doors and windows, and set them up to a chime that will be just barely audible to me. Once the assassin passes the motion sensor, the NightWatch catches a picture of him, and beams his image back to my television via my VCR, to a secret monitor on my cell phone, and to my waterproof VideoWatch which I wear on my wrist at all times. This will give me time to get into position.

The EagleEye detects the approach of my nocturnal visitor, and I suddenly have his picture on my VideoWatch. My television is turned off, but the VCR is rolling to catch all the action. The hired gun enters the house. He decides to take the chef’s route, through the kitchen window. Unbeknownst to him, he’s triggered the door sensors that I had hooked up. I sit in the darkness in total silence. I carefully catch a lever on my shoes with my foot, and two toe blades come out, ready for combat.

The HawkEye motion sensor detects his presence in the kitchen and activates the ’Chef Special’ macro. I have programmed several various macros in ActiveHome, each one with a different scenario, always trying to be one step ahead of my would-be eradicator.

Steel gates fall over the windows, strobe lights and lasers flash, followed by a blast of random leftovers from the ’food cannon’ (all triggered by the Chef’s Special Macro). This mayhem sends the intruder running into the living room. The HawkEye motion sensor in the living room executes the "Make the Intruder Comfy" macro.

As the intruder enters the living room, flood lights come up full blast, causing the intruder to be temporarily blinded... caught like a deer in headlights. Now the XCam2 takes over, making sure everything is caught on tape. I take out a package of bubblegum and throw one of the pieces at my attacker. The bubblegum reacts with the skin and seeps into the pores, numbing the attacker so he can’t move. Now I can begin the interrogation. I pull out my pen to take notes, forgetting that my pen is set fire a stun-dart when I click it to write. Oops! I won’t be getting too much information just yet.

So I reach and trigger my cufflinks, which activates the "I Got Him" macro. This macro activates a "Global" module, which turns on all the lights, so that I can see clearly throughout the house. Then it turns the sofa into a comfy cage, more impenetrable than a safe.

When the lights go up, there’s my attacker, sitting helplessly on the sofa. Uh-oh! It’s my wife, and she’s just a little annoyed at my shenanigans. It looks as though things could get ugly.

After I’ve managed to talk her down, we both go to the kitchen to enjoy a nice dry martini... Shaken, not stirred.

Fred Calef III

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